I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
