And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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