I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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