did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
