I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
