guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
