Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
