oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We have started to decorate penises.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
