Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
