i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize