I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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