Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
