So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
