im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
