No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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