Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
