To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
