I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
