I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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