I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
