Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
