the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
