i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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