Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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