It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Everything about him screamed your future.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
