i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
