"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
