he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
