I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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