In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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