Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm getting married
To pizza
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize