I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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