'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ugly people sure do ruin things
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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