He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just tell him i said nine months
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
