FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
