Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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