I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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