Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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