hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
