me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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