i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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