im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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