she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
