I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize