Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
