people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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