It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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