I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
