Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
