I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
