so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
