Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
