Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
