dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
