I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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