I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
How's work?
Spinning.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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