she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
