If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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