Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
