i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize