Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
