my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
