Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
