Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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