he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize