i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We talked him into tasing himself.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
