Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
well you can't waste a boner
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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