I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
