I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
