They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
