I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
