I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
