dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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