i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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