What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize