I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
