Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I met the friendliest cop last night
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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