I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
