What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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