i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
