Did you just see the Batmobile???
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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